I haven't posted in forever!! So many things have been going on lately that I just haven't had time to sit down and process it all.
A week ago Thursday I was in a crazy car accident that definitely left me thanking God for sparing my life and my health! Thankfully no one but my car (and someone else's) were seriously hurt. Hubby (M) and I were glad that the car was fixable and not totaled...we can't really afford to buy a new car now...especially when he's going to need a new car really soon.
So for now I am dealing with being without a car...its been really hard!! Thankfully my classes this summer are at night and that makes it a little easier to work out our schedules. Unfortunately M goes to work at about 6:30 or 7 in the morning and that doesn't really work out for me going to the library, oh well! Just hoping to have my car back soon!
For Memorial Day we went to the Lake, had to rent a car since mine was wrecked...but it was worth it to hang with the family. I got sooo burnt!! I was so surprised...it usually takes a lot for me to burn, so that sucked. Oh well we had a great time so that's what matters!!
Anyway this has been such a great week...M and I are so blessed!!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Grades
So grades came out today. Mixed reviews from me...I am really ecstatic to get a few A's :-) My GPA sure did need them but one of the grades really bothered me....guess I need to talk to the Professor...Its so weird cause I did good in his other class! Oh well...
I am glad by my reaction to the grades though...I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my grades in law school do not define me, they do not define my ability to be a good person or a good lawyer for that matter. So that being said, the type A, always a great student in me is happy that although I was disappointed with one of my grades, my GPA went up and my goal for graduation is a real possibility.
Hope all my friends got the grades they worked for!
I am glad by my reaction to the grades though...I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my grades in law school do not define me, they do not define my ability to be a good person or a good lawyer for that matter. So that being said, the type A, always a great student in me is happy that although I was disappointed with one of my grades, my GPA went up and my goal for graduation is a real possibility.
Hope all my friends got the grades they worked for!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Life Isn't Fair
Its one of those horrible things that people tell children when things don't go their way.
I for one, hate it. I think its a terrible thing to teach our children. I mean really will say life isn't fair when your daughter wasn't allowed to play basketball with the boys at school because she might get hurt or will you tell that to your son when he wasn't hired because he was gay? Really??
Anyway I think its funny because I have been told my whole life that Life Isn't Fair, yet I still get angry when it isn't. I am not talking about anything monumental. There were a few silly events that happened today that made me think "hey, that's not fair!" I mean no one's rights were being violated and no one was been discriminated but it did make me stop and think about life being fair.
Sometimes I think Life owes me a little...my childhood was a little messed up...the last time I saw my biological mother I was 9 years old. Things before that were pretty awful, things were better after she left but I spent years trying to deal with the abandonment and sometimes I still deal with its effects. So occasionally I feel like Life owes me. High school was difficult for me but it was met with college and I finally felt free to be myself and trust people again...I met my husband and we got engaged, then married...
Then I went to law school and trusted someone who stabbed me in the back...I tried not to think that it was my fault...Maybe it was though because I was too trusting and I should have seen what everyone else did...anyway back to today...
I just think that life should be fair. I think that people who do good things should get good things in return...I think people who deal with unfortunate circumstances should be rewarded later...I also believe that hard work should be rewarded with success and laziness should not be rewarded...
I wonder if I am just too idealistic? Is fairness really only left to the white and wealthy? I know I am white, but I am certainly not wealthy and neither are my parents...So sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to believe that life should be fair and that fighting to make things fair is worth it.
I mean, I know there are certain things in life that should be fought for...equality among the races, the sexes and the sexually oriented is something I truly believe in. But is it fair to fight for the little things? Like promises that were made...even if they aren't life altering...shouldn't people be kept to their promises? And what about people who work their whole lives to make things better for others only constantly finding themselves thrown under the financially crippling bus?
I think sometimes I really take things too personally and I tend to react emotionally (I have a serious fear of one day bursting into tears in court because I always seem to cry when I get angry or upset).
But you know...no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me, who hurts me, walks over me and tries desperately to show me that the world isn't fair for people like me, I still can't seem to shake my idealistic hope that I can make things fair...even if it only means things were fair for only that instant in time.
I for one, hate it. I think its a terrible thing to teach our children. I mean really will say life isn't fair when your daughter wasn't allowed to play basketball with the boys at school because she might get hurt or will you tell that to your son when he wasn't hired because he was gay? Really??
Anyway I think its funny because I have been told my whole life that Life Isn't Fair, yet I still get angry when it isn't. I am not talking about anything monumental. There were a few silly events that happened today that made me think "hey, that's not fair!" I mean no one's rights were being violated and no one was been discriminated but it did make me stop and think about life being fair.
Sometimes I think Life owes me a little...my childhood was a little messed up...the last time I saw my biological mother I was 9 years old. Things before that were pretty awful, things were better after she left but I spent years trying to deal with the abandonment and sometimes I still deal with its effects. So occasionally I feel like Life owes me. High school was difficult for me but it was met with college and I finally felt free to be myself and trust people again...I met my husband and we got engaged, then married...
Then I went to law school and trusted someone who stabbed me in the back...I tried not to think that it was my fault...Maybe it was though because I was too trusting and I should have seen what everyone else did...anyway back to today...
I just think that life should be fair. I think that people who do good things should get good things in return...I think people who deal with unfortunate circumstances should be rewarded later...I also believe that hard work should be rewarded with success and laziness should not be rewarded...
I wonder if I am just too idealistic? Is fairness really only left to the white and wealthy? I know I am white, but I am certainly not wealthy and neither are my parents...So sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to believe that life should be fair and that fighting to make things fair is worth it.
I mean, I know there are certain things in life that should be fought for...equality among the races, the sexes and the sexually oriented is something I truly believe in. But is it fair to fight for the little things? Like promises that were made...even if they aren't life altering...shouldn't people be kept to their promises? And what about people who work their whole lives to make things better for others only constantly finding themselves thrown under the financially crippling bus?
I think sometimes I really take things too personally and I tend to react emotionally (I have a serious fear of one day bursting into tears in court because I always seem to cry when I get angry or upset).
But you know...no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me, who hurts me, walks over me and tries desperately to show me that the world isn't fair for people like me, I still can't seem to shake my idealistic hope that I can make things fair...even if it only means things were fair for only that instant in time.
FYI
So I added some blogs that I love to read so that they would be easily accessible for me to read...if anyone objects to me linking their blog from my blog just let me know and I will take it down...I really don't think anyone reads my blog but me a probably the people who I added, but I understand privacy stuff...
:-D
:-D
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Days Off
How come days off never seem as relaxing as they should be?
So I have this entire week off, no classes and I could work whenever I felt like it...yet it still feels full of stress...
I think it's because I have so many things I really want to do and I am soo tired from a stressful semester that I can't make myself do much when I get home except sleep or watch tv.
On a brighter note, I think this summer semester is going to be cool. I am taking Juvenile Justice, which is something I am really interested in so that's a plus and then Native American Law...I was a little worried about this class but the syllabus came out today and it looks pretty darn cool..no final and I got my book and it looks like a lot of history that I never really got to explore at other points in my schooling. Plus the classes only last 6 weeks which is a plus.
So I decided that hubby and I need a vacation. I mean a real vacation where there aren't other people we know, no family or friends...we hadn't done that before our honeymoon or since...our two year anniversary is coming up so that would be fun. But we don't have a whole lot of money so I need to think of some place fun that doesn't cost a whole lot...hm...
anyway just my thoughts for the day
So I have this entire week off, no classes and I could work whenever I felt like it...yet it still feels full of stress...
I think it's because I have so many things I really want to do and I am soo tired from a stressful semester that I can't make myself do much when I get home except sleep or watch tv.
On a brighter note, I think this summer semester is going to be cool. I am taking Juvenile Justice, which is something I am really interested in so that's a plus and then Native American Law...I was a little worried about this class but the syllabus came out today and it looks pretty darn cool..no final and I got my book and it looks like a lot of history that I never really got to explore at other points in my schooling. Plus the classes only last 6 weeks which is a plus.
So I decided that hubby and I need a vacation. I mean a real vacation where there aren't other people we know, no family or friends...we hadn't done that before our honeymoon or since...our two year anniversary is coming up so that would be fun. But we don't have a whole lot of money so I need to think of some place fun that doesn't cost a whole lot...hm...
anyway just my thoughts for the day
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Feeling a little blue
I am so tired of wishing for things that feel like will never happen.
What sucks even more is that it seems to be around everywhere!! Everywhere I go or everywhere I look...its kinda depressing...
Brought on even worse by the fact that in almost exactly a year I will be moving my husband and myself to a completely different state and a 15 hour drive from the place that I grew up and the family I am so close to.
So, I wanted to have this one thing, so I could experience it with my family before I leave. But currently it feels destined not to happen. I know that you can't plan everything in life, I am ok with that, really, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to plan a few things.
Oh well...now I am just trying to enjoy my one week off before I start classes again. Yay!
What sucks even more is that it seems to be around everywhere!! Everywhere I go or everywhere I look...its kinda depressing...
Brought on even worse by the fact that in almost exactly a year I will be moving my husband and myself to a completely different state and a 15 hour drive from the place that I grew up and the family I am so close to.
So, I wanted to have this one thing, so I could experience it with my family before I leave. But currently it feels destined not to happen. I know that you can't plan everything in life, I am ok with that, really, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to plan a few things.
Oh well...now I am just trying to enjoy my one week off before I start classes again. Yay!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Finally, I can relax
Ahh,
Finals are over...And THANK GOODNESS!! I was not sure I was gonna make it through..haha, no I knew I was going to make it through this years, I mean it really couldn't be worse than last spring and I tried to remind myself that.
Law school finals always bring out the worst in all of us...Everyone is cranky and stressed and acting weird. My husband likes to stay away from me...I get a little snippy...so I don't blame him..
I am looking forward to this summer though. I think its going to be one of my better summers. I am taking Native American Law which will probably be boring and Juvenile Justice which I am super, super excited about considering I really want to do family law. Plus that class is a paper and I can't wait to finally have a grade in a class that will be based on something I am good at. I am not good at taking exams, I just can't cram and remember and feel good about it...
Anyway back to summer...So I was a little disappointed that I didn't have a "law" job again this summer but then I realized something.
This will be the last summer I spend anywhere near my family.
A year from today I will be getting ready for graduation and packing my things to move to Houston.
That is like the scariest statement I have ever made. I am PETRIFIED of moving to Texas. Its not so much the moving, I think I am ready to move beyond this place, but its the where...I mean not that I don't like parts of texas and to be honest I have never visited Houston, the problem is how far away from everything I have ever known it is.
I am an East Coast, New England girl at heart, I love the cold, frost bite ocean, I love beautiful snow covered winters, REAL maple syrup, the way the leaves turn the most beautiful colors I have ever seen, I love getting a box of all flavor salt water taffy only to realize I don't really like salt water taffy :-), I love eating a lobster that still has all its parts, I love the east!
While I was born in California, my parents moved to Dayton when I was 6 months old and until I met mark and went to visit his parents in Texas for the first time in 2004, I hadn't crossed the Mississippi, much less LIVED there....
I am scared, I'll admit it, I am also sad that I will be so far from my family. But I have decided to go with my husband and I think its the right decision...so I will spend this summer trying to enjoy every ounce of my family possible, before its no longer easy for me to run up to Cincy and see them....
Finals are over...And THANK GOODNESS!! I was not sure I was gonna make it through..haha, no I knew I was going to make it through this years, I mean it really couldn't be worse than last spring and I tried to remind myself that.
Law school finals always bring out the worst in all of us...Everyone is cranky and stressed and acting weird. My husband likes to stay away from me...I get a little snippy...so I don't blame him..
I am looking forward to this summer though. I think its going to be one of my better summers. I am taking Native American Law which will probably be boring and Juvenile Justice which I am super, super excited about considering I really want to do family law. Plus that class is a paper and I can't wait to finally have a grade in a class that will be based on something I am good at. I am not good at taking exams, I just can't cram and remember and feel good about it...
Anyway back to summer...So I was a little disappointed that I didn't have a "law" job again this summer but then I realized something.
This will be the last summer I spend anywhere near my family.
A year from today I will be getting ready for graduation and packing my things to move to Houston.
That is like the scariest statement I have ever made. I am PETRIFIED of moving to Texas. Its not so much the moving, I think I am ready to move beyond this place, but its the where...I mean not that I don't like parts of texas and to be honest I have never visited Houston, the problem is how far away from everything I have ever known it is.
I am an East Coast, New England girl at heart, I love the cold, frost bite ocean, I love beautiful snow covered winters, REAL maple syrup, the way the leaves turn the most beautiful colors I have ever seen, I love getting a box of all flavor salt water taffy only to realize I don't really like salt water taffy :-), I love eating a lobster that still has all its parts, I love the east!
While I was born in California, my parents moved to Dayton when I was 6 months old and until I met mark and went to visit his parents in Texas for the first time in 2004, I hadn't crossed the Mississippi, much less LIVED there....
I am scared, I'll admit it, I am also sad that I will be so far from my family. But I have decided to go with my husband and I think its the right decision...so I will spend this summer trying to enjoy every ounce of my family possible, before its no longer easy for me to run up to Cincy and see them....
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