Life Isn't Fair

Its one of those horrible things that people tell children when things don't go their way.

I for one, hate it. I think its a terrible thing to teach our children. I mean really will say life isn't fair when your daughter wasn't allowed to play basketball with the boys at school because she might get hurt or will you tell that to your son when he wasn't hired because he was gay? Really??

Anyway I think its funny because I have been told my whole life that Life Isn't Fair, yet I still get angry when it isn't. I am not talking about anything monumental. There were a few silly events that happened today that made me think "hey, that's not fair!" I mean no one's rights were being violated and no one was been discriminated but it did make me stop and think about life being fair.

Sometimes I think Life owes me a little...my childhood was a little messed up...the last time I saw my biological mother I was 9 years old. Things before that were pretty awful, things were better after she left but I spent years trying to deal with the abandonment and sometimes I still deal with its effects. So occasionally I feel like Life owes me. High school was difficult for me but it was met with college and I finally felt free to be myself and trust people again...I met my husband and we got engaged, then married...

Then I went to law school and trusted someone who stabbed me in the back...I tried not to think that it was my fault...Maybe it was though because I was too trusting and I should have seen what everyone else did...anyway back to today...

I just think that life should be fair. I think that people who do good things should get good things in return...I think people who deal with unfortunate circumstances should be rewarded later...I also believe that hard work should be rewarded with success and laziness should not be rewarded...

I wonder if I am just too idealistic? Is fairness really only left to the white and wealthy? I know I am white, but I am certainly not wealthy and neither are my parents...So sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to believe that life should be fair and that fighting to make things fair is worth it.

I mean, I know there are certain things in life that should be fought for...equality among the races, the sexes and the sexually oriented is something I truly believe in. But is it fair to fight for the little things? Like promises that were made...even if they aren't life altering...shouldn't people be kept to their promises? And what about people who work their whole lives to make things better for others only constantly finding themselves thrown under the financially crippling bus?

I think sometimes I really take things too personally and I tend to react emotionally (I have a serious fear of one day bursting into tears in court because I always seem to cry when I get angry or upset).

But you know...no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me, who hurts me, walks over me and tries desperately to show me that the world isn't fair for people like me, I still can't seem to shake my idealistic hope that I can make things fair...even if it only means things were fair for only that instant in time.