The Start of School means....

I get to spend LOTS of money!!! Can you believe the PRICE of books!! I am sooo tired of paying upwards of $500 a semester for books. Its so frustrating. The really awful part about it is that it really is not proportionate to the number or difficulty of the class either. In fact, the semester I had the least amount of classes I paid the most in books.

As any college student knows, getting textbooks is a frustrating process. I didn't mind it so much in undergrad because I could almost always find my books cheaper online. I love half.com and amazon.com. But with law books its so much different. I think the biggest problem is that many students don't sell their books back. I have recently put my law books up on half.com and have already sold most of them. But when I go to look for mine, I find that they are more expensive than what the bookstore sold them to me for.

Oh well...what can a girl do? I mean, I have to have these books...its not like in undergrad where you were lucky if the professor mentioned the book...I have said that at least I have read most of my $150 books mostly from cover to cover. But still.

So anyway M decided that going the Thesis route to getting his masters finished was just not going to work out. He's had many problems with his 'machine' that he was doing 'experiments' on (can you tell I really had no idea what he was doing???). So great. He assured me that his company gives a 75% tuition remission and we'd only have to pay $250 for his class that he has to take. Except that he told me today, that we pay first and then the company reimburses us if he gets a C or above. UGH!! What makes it all worse is that he didn't file a FAFSA and the class isnt' enough credit hours to get loan money anyway. *sigh*

Plus the other really crappy thing about this class is that its ALL YEAR! Which sucks because the Spring semester is going to be so hard for us. Oh well... I am sure it will all work itself out in the end...but sometimes...MAN!!!

When will I feel like a mommy??

This is a question I have been asking myself lately.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I always had this little bit of a fantasy that being pregnant would be this greatly spiritual quest. I would know exactly when I was pregnant and I would instantly feel connected to this life inside me.

So...reality hits and its not like that at all. I took five pregnancy tests to convince myself that it was actually real. And in the middle of the worst morning sickness I cried to M about it and even a few times (ashamedly) wished we hadn't got pregnant...but usually that was late at night when I was exhausted (and thinking...I am this exhausted WITHOUT a baby???!!!). I always woke up and remembered that this is something I really wanted...but it didn't stop the doubt from creeping in.

ANYWAY...everyone said "oh you'll feel like a mom when you see the first ultrasound or hear the heartbeat for the first time." But...that didn't exactly happen either. I saw my little bean at 8 weeks (really s/he looked like a peanut) and I was astounded. I got great pictures at 12 weeks and it really looked like a baby!! We were so surprised!! It was a surreal experience.

So when did I start feeling like a mom? Or at least pregnant??

When someone insulted me, my husband and my baby!! Ugh...people can be so hateful sometimes and it hurts more when its a member of your family. But at that moment...I knew then that it was ON!! You can't just expect me to sit back and take it when you make mean comments about my baby! *Sigh*

Anyway I don't really want to go to in depth on the details but while it really sucked for M and I it made me feel VERY much a mommy. And that was a positive feeling at least.

So as I am entering my second trimester on Saturday, I am finally starting to feel better and most importantly to feel connected to my baby and excited (all the time) to be pregnant!