And the reason I haven't posted in forever.....

Is because I am PREGNANT!!! Yes!!! I am so excited to finally be able to share this little bit of information with the world. M and I had been trying for 5 months to get preggers and the month that I had decided would be our last was our best :).

So here I am 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant. My due date is Feb. 6th and we couldn't be more excited!

So....I would love to write about some of the things that have been on my mind.

Being pregnant is harder than it looks. A lot harder. There are so many things about being pregnant that no one tells you about. For instance, even if you have been trying to get pregnant you may one day wake up and think "my god what did we do??" And then you will remember and it will be ok. They also don't tell you how tired you will be...I mean really tired...more tired than those cramming sessions right before 1st semester law school finals. And at least for me....that pregnancy glow is a myth! Haha...well apparently I appear happier to my friends and family so I guess maybe there is a little "glow."

Morning sickness...we've all heard of it, but until you get it you can't imagine how awful it is. And then you have to go on and work or do whatever other thing you were supposed to be doing. I mean you can't take a 5 week (or longer) sick day.

Anyway having successfully made it 12 weeks things are starting to get better. I am starting to get a "baby bump" but only when I wear certain things or look in the mirror.

So far things are great. Went to my first yoga class today. Yoga is not as easy as it looks. But I felt GREAT afterward. I was glad to have only 3 people there today because its a little embarrassing that I can't manage to say balanced with my hands over my head while doing a lunge...I really hope it gets easier! I want so badly to do Yoga...for all the great things its supposed to do.

I haven't written in so long...i have so much to say but its late and like I said I am ALWAYS tired.

More later :)

Summer

Well summer is officially underway. I love summer, despite the heat, everything is relaxed and slowing down a little...yeah right!!

Oh man I have so much to do this summer!! Mostly that's my fault since I decided to take a couple classes...granted I love them and they are fun...but they do require some work! I have 25 pg. paper to right for Juvenile Justice...which I am excited about writing, but I am not very good at starting papers...so its a frustrating process for me in the beginning.

Also this summer I absolutely need to get my scrapbooks done! I mean done. I am still working on a scrapbook from my trip to Spain...in 2004!!!! I know its terrible...but my life is only going to get crazier in the months ahead so I must get this stuff done this summer...its probably my last chance!

So what's the problem?

I am so tired I can't get up at a decent time in which to get this all done...oh well...I'll figure it out!!

Chugging along!

I haven't posted in forever!! So many things have been going on lately that I just haven't had time to sit down and process it all.

A week ago Thursday I was in a crazy car accident that definitely left me thanking God for sparing my life and my health! Thankfully no one but my car (and someone else's) were seriously hurt. Hubby (M) and I were glad that the car was fixable and not totaled...we can't really afford to buy a new car now...especially when he's going to need a new car really soon.

So for now I am dealing with being without a car...its been really hard!! Thankfully my classes this summer are at night and that makes it a little easier to work out our schedules. Unfortunately M goes to work at about 6:30 or 7 in the morning and that doesn't really work out for me going to the library, oh well! Just hoping to have my car back soon!

For Memorial Day we went to the Lake, had to rent a car since mine was wrecked...but it was worth it to hang with the family. I got sooo burnt!! I was so surprised...it usually takes a lot for me to burn, so that sucked. Oh well we had a great time so that's what matters!!

Anyway this has been such a great week...M and I are so blessed!!

Grades

So grades came out today. Mixed reviews from me...I am really ecstatic to get a few A's :-) My GPA sure did need them but one of the grades really bothered me....guess I need to talk to the Professor...Its so weird cause I did good in his other class! Oh well...

I am glad by my reaction to the grades though...I am finally coming to terms with the fact that my grades in law school do not define me, they do not define my ability to be a good person or a good lawyer for that matter. So that being said, the type A, always a great student in me is happy that although I was disappointed with one of my grades, my GPA went up and my goal for graduation is a real possibility.

Hope all my friends got the grades they worked for!

Life Isn't Fair

Its one of those horrible things that people tell children when things don't go their way.

I for one, hate it. I think its a terrible thing to teach our children. I mean really will say life isn't fair when your daughter wasn't allowed to play basketball with the boys at school because she might get hurt or will you tell that to your son when he wasn't hired because he was gay? Really??

Anyway I think its funny because I have been told my whole life that Life Isn't Fair, yet I still get angry when it isn't. I am not talking about anything monumental. There were a few silly events that happened today that made me think "hey, that's not fair!" I mean no one's rights were being violated and no one was been discriminated but it did make me stop and think about life being fair.

Sometimes I think Life owes me a little...my childhood was a little messed up...the last time I saw my biological mother I was 9 years old. Things before that were pretty awful, things were better after she left but I spent years trying to deal with the abandonment and sometimes I still deal with its effects. So occasionally I feel like Life owes me. High school was difficult for me but it was met with college and I finally felt free to be myself and trust people again...I met my husband and we got engaged, then married...

Then I went to law school and trusted someone who stabbed me in the back...I tried not to think that it was my fault...Maybe it was though because I was too trusting and I should have seen what everyone else did...anyway back to today...

I just think that life should be fair. I think that people who do good things should get good things in return...I think people who deal with unfortunate circumstances should be rewarded later...I also believe that hard work should be rewarded with success and laziness should not be rewarded...

I wonder if I am just too idealistic? Is fairness really only left to the white and wealthy? I know I am white, but I am certainly not wealthy and neither are my parents...So sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to believe that life should be fair and that fighting to make things fair is worth it.

I mean, I know there are certain things in life that should be fought for...equality among the races, the sexes and the sexually oriented is something I truly believe in. But is it fair to fight for the little things? Like promises that were made...even if they aren't life altering...shouldn't people be kept to their promises? And what about people who work their whole lives to make things better for others only constantly finding themselves thrown under the financially crippling bus?

I think sometimes I really take things too personally and I tend to react emotionally (I have a serious fear of one day bursting into tears in court because I always seem to cry when I get angry or upset).

But you know...no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me, who hurts me, walks over me and tries desperately to show me that the world isn't fair for people like me, I still can't seem to shake my idealistic hope that I can make things fair...even if it only means things were fair for only that instant in time.

FYI

So I added some blogs that I love to read so that they would be easily accessible for me to read...if anyone objects to me linking their blog from my blog just let me know and I will take it down...I really don't think anyone reads my blog but me a probably the people who I added, but I understand privacy stuff...

:-D

Days Off

How come days off never seem as relaxing as they should be?

So I have this entire week off, no classes and I could work whenever I felt like it...yet it still feels full of stress...

I think it's because I have so many things I really want to do and I am soo tired from a stressful semester that I can't make myself do much when I get home except sleep or watch tv.

On a brighter note, I think this summer semester is going to be cool. I am taking Juvenile Justice, which is something I am really interested in so that's a plus and then Native American Law...I was a little worried about this class but the syllabus came out today and it looks pretty darn cool..no final and I got my book and it looks like a lot of history that I never really got to explore at other points in my schooling. Plus the classes only last 6 weeks which is a plus.

So I decided that hubby and I need a vacation. I mean a real vacation where there aren't other people we know, no family or friends...we hadn't done that before our honeymoon or since...our two year anniversary is coming up so that would be fun. But we don't have a whole lot of money so I need to think of some place fun that doesn't cost a whole lot...hm...

anyway just my thoughts for the day