When will I feel like a mommy??

This is a question I have been asking myself lately.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I always had this little bit of a fantasy that being pregnant would be this greatly spiritual quest. I would know exactly when I was pregnant and I would instantly feel connected to this life inside me.

So...reality hits and its not like that at all. I took five pregnancy tests to convince myself that it was actually real. And in the middle of the worst morning sickness I cried to M about it and even a few times (ashamedly) wished we hadn't got pregnant...but usually that was late at night when I was exhausted (and thinking...I am this exhausted WITHOUT a baby???!!!). I always woke up and remembered that this is something I really wanted...but it didn't stop the doubt from creeping in.

ANYWAY...everyone said "oh you'll feel like a mom when you see the first ultrasound or hear the heartbeat for the first time." But...that didn't exactly happen either. I saw my little bean at 8 weeks (really s/he looked like a peanut) and I was astounded. I got great pictures at 12 weeks and it really looked like a baby!! We were so surprised!! It was a surreal experience.

So when did I start feeling like a mom? Or at least pregnant??

When someone insulted me, my husband and my baby!! Ugh...people can be so hateful sometimes and it hurts more when its a member of your family. But at that moment...I knew then that it was ON!! You can't just expect me to sit back and take it when you make mean comments about my baby! *Sigh*

Anyway I don't really want to go to in depth on the details but while it really sucked for M and I it made me feel VERY much a mommy. And that was a positive feeling at least.

So as I am entering my second trimester on Saturday, I am finally starting to feel better and most importantly to feel connected to my baby and excited (all the time) to be pregnant!